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You have chatted and talked by phone several times with that person, you think that it might be a nice person to meet, but you really don’t know yet that person, so it will not be wise to meet him/her in your house.
The best that you can do for your first date is to make it a group activity, preferably a foursome. Then you will be protected by your friends and will avoid many embarrassing moments of silence.
The group meeting has also the advantage that lesser attention will be focused on each other so you both will be less stressed.
Choose carefully your group because if you take with you someone who is a chatter box, then that person and not you will be who dominates the conversation.
And don’ drink too much on your first date, you might blurt out something that you didn’t wanted to say or you may become drunk and that won’t be a good idea.
Choose a public place, and a place with plenty of people around. A restaurant could be a good choice, it’s a safe place and if you have food together you will get to know a lot about each other.
If you watch his/her table manner you can guess a lot about that person’s background. And after a glass or two of wine, people loosen up a lot.
Should you end up your first meeting in bed?
Not at all!
Just because you enjoy talking or having dinner with a person, you don’t need to go to bed with him/her. That must be a natural consequence of the relationship, it can happen the first time or much later, it depends on how you both feel and what you are looking for.
An easy way of solving feeling uncomfortable with that is not to meet the other person on the evening. Ask for a lunch instead of a diner.
Lunch is a good time if you want to keep safe, because in the day time most of us are busy with work, and this can be a good excuse to live if you didn’t find what you where looking for.
So lunch is not so romantic as dinner, but it’s safer. Be there on time. It’s not a good idea to keep waiting someone that you meet for the first time.
THINKING ABOUT YOU
Suppose that you are on your first meeting, you are enjoying your company and you would like the other person to think about you when the meeting is over.
What can you do to make sure that the other person won’t forget you?
In this kind of meetings living a business or visiting card is not appropriate, it’s too formal. So if you want the other person to remember you, you must be creative.
You could pen down a few lines on a paper napkin or write a few lines about friendship, online dating, relationships or any other general topic on a special nice card that you buy for the date. It doesn’t need to be a poem, rather write something warm.
You can also write a poem or the lines os someone else, but in that case let the other know that you are not the author.
Keep the token till the last moment, and just before you part give it to the other person saying something like “I wrote this for you”. Only do this if you feel sure that “this is the one”
Note: don’t give a bought card. If you like a phrase that you read on a card, write it on a blank card saying that you liked that phrase, but it’s nice to add a personal touch to it, like a dried flower. Even if you don’t add the dried flower, just for writing it you will become special, and that person will surely think about you in a much fonder way.
WHO PAYS THE BILL?
When you are going to have your first date the best is that you communicate your decision that each person should pay for his expenses. (You don’t want to feel obligated with someone that you didn’t like)
MORE THAN ONE DATE
It could happen that you receive more than one offer to date more or less at the same time, or you want to date more than one person..
Whom should you choose?
You have the right to choose so do it. And you don’t have to feel guilty about it, but if you do it, be honest, don’t say that you are not seeing any on else if you are.
What can you do if you have the bad luck to meet your date number one while you are with your date number two?
You don’t need to feel embarrassed, remember that you have the right to choose.. Just present each other as a friend of yours, and see what happens. (some of them might result more jealous than you expected)
But what you can not do is to have a double date. You can not go out with both of them at the same time!
EASE THE TENSION
On the first date, the other person will most probably be as tense as you are, and you must make your best to make him/her feel comfortable.
You both have being chatting for a while, then have being talking by telephone, and finally you are face to face. With all the chatting you already know a great deal about each other, so brake the ice as soon as you can with a joke or two.
You don’t need to rehearse a joke, just make a joke about any funny situation that you find ont that first date face to face.
Try to be as considerate as you can. Talk but also let the other person talk. You both need information to be sure that have maid the right choice. If you aren’t a great talker it doesn’t matter because people usually likes to talk about themselves, just ask about the other person’s work or interests. And show interest in whatever it says to you.
Some people think that to be considered a good conversationalist you need to be able to talk a lot about many interesting things. But this is not how it is. To be considered a good conversationalist you need to be able to listen. Just listen to the other person, pay attention to what it says and you’ll be considered a good conversationalist.
But the other person also needs to know about you, so if you are sited in front of a person that likes to talk endlessly, listen patiently for a couple of minutes and then show your interest to talk. You can even be direct and say “well now I want to tell you about me..”
SHOULD YOU BUY A GIFT?
Who doesn’t like a gift?
A gift will always create a good impression, but to give a good impression you don’t need to buy an expensive gift. Chocolates or flowers are perfect for a first date. (You should find what the other person likes while you chat with him/her)
On the first face to face date, you are not obliged to carry a gift, because you don’t even know if you are going to like the other person, but if you buy something do not appear cheap and stingy, and do not buy something too expensive.
If the other person does not bring a gift, make her/him feel comfortable. You can always joke about it, or sasy something like “I wanted to do it so I did it, and you can do it in the future if you feel like”.
AND IF IT GOES BAD?
It might perfectly happen that your face to face date doesn’t work out like you dreamed. And if that happens, what should you do?
Very easy.. Start all over again!
It might go well the first time or not, but there’s only one way to win: keep playing!
Hope for the best, but date with more than one till the best comes.
There are no rules and no one but you can tell which is the best choice. And as you aren’t forced to commit before you feel sure about it. Keep on trying until you feel that you found what you were looking for.
And if someone tries to force you into making a commitment and you don’t feel enough sure about it, say firmly that you need more time, that this is for you your most important decision, or break away from that relationship.
ENDING A RELATIONSHIP
If it happens that you realize that it is not working, and it is not going to work, try to part gracefully.
Do your most not to hurt the other person’s feelings because the next time it might be you who’s going to suffer that.
The best way to sign off is to send an email to the other person telling that he or she is not what you are looking for, although you would like to remain good friends. If you do that in the middle of a chat, you might receive very uncomfortable questions.
To be sincere it’s VERY difficult to remain a good friend os someone that you have rejected, but it sounds well and it might prevent you from being pestered.
But don’t part or stop answering email without a word, those are not only bad manners, it’s a dangerous building of bad karma that sooner or later will fall upon you.
And my last words are words or hope:
Be sure that your loved one is out there and waiting for you, and only those that accept the idea of defeat can be defeated.
So what are you waiting for?
Written by Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi
You will find all that you need to know about, self help, stress control, weight control, stop smoking, mind control, relax, motivation and meditation with subliminal messages at Dr. Bonomi’s web site: http://www.drbonomi.com
This article may be reprinted provided no changes are made and this resource box is included in full.