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Don’t look for a soul mate.. Become one!


There are many different approaches and many different answers for this question…


The philosopher Plato is believed to be the father of the soul mate theory. He said that our ancestors once had 2 heads and 4 arms, but they offended a god, and so that god punished us splitting us down the middle into “male and female”. And from then on we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half (our soul mate) to reunite our souls.

But according to the jewish tradition (Zohar 343b), the souls of the truly matched couple derive from a common soul-essence. For this reason, the two are destined even before birth to unite in matrimony.

A soul mate lover is like part of you because it’s your other half. It has being created for and with you in his mind, and unless you are together, you will always feel empty even in another relationship.

The problem with this explanation is that fosters the notion that there is only one person in the universe with whom you can be truly happy, and with whom you could be happily married, and this is not true.


These are those people that we encounter through our life, and that help us achieve a life’s goal or help us out of a crisis. They can be friends, couples, parents, teachers, mentors, etc.


Through reincarnations, there are souls that spend many different lifetimes together, and these are the soul mates.

We incarnate in soul groups that share our journey life after life, and with whom we can have a very special relationship on this life. Though they are not necessarily all incarnated in the same country or at the same time.

Within these soul groups there are several soul mate relationships possible. They can be from our own sex or race or not, they can become our couple or not, but they usually are people with whom we really click with from the start, and each of us is able to sense the feelings of each other.

When you meet a twin soul mate you will have a strong feeling of knowing that person, because you have shared several incarnations with it.

Many times we marry this soul mates and we are really happy with and feel really at home, because we know each other since centuries ago. If you meet one of your twin soul mates, you will sense a very significant relation with that person. Bear in mind you have most likely shared several incarnations already with this soul – not necessarily as romantic partners- and at a deeper energy level you already know well that soul.

When I first met my wife, we both felt as we have known and lived with each other for years, the impact was so big that we started to live together fifteen days later, and now in 2005, fifteen years after, we still live together and we love each other more than at the beginning. (I can even recall the last life that we lived together.)

Your reactions to a twin soul mate is stronger than you would normally expect on first meeting someone, and would probably not be only a physical attraction. This doesn’t mean you will have an instant relationship as it happened to me- soul mates may stay just friends, or take years to get together.

Twin soul mates feel and enjoy one another’s energy and long to be together interchanging it, but may have to cross through many obstacles before being able to live together and enjoy it, because there are challenges (karma) that you must work through, before that can happen.

In Celtic Spiritual tradition, it is believed that when you can connect with another person in such a way that you can become completely open and trusting with that individual, then you have found your Anam Cara or soulmate; then your two souls begin to flow together and you have arrived at the most sacred place: home


Most of the time when people talk about the soul mate, they are thinking in the twin flame soul mates, because there is only one twin flame for each one of us. They are really our other half that’s learning and growing separately from us.

The energy between us and our twin flame soul mate can be so intense that can also become quite overwhelming. The love with a twin flame can be without comparison but you can also hurt each other in an unique way.

Many of these relationships are fiery and short live though very memorable. But don´t worry if they are short, because your bond is eternal, and you will meet again in another lifetime and between lives, because you are not only soul mates, but twin flame soul mates.

With a twin flame soul mate you seem to never disconnect, and that´s why these relationships can be a chaos and a struggle, especially if that person is married, because a twin flame is like the other half of your soul (that’s why someones call them twin souls).

Soul mates are almost perfect connections, but twin flames although they sound very romantic, usually are NOT the ideal mates, because they usually involve some kind of chaos like: one of them are attached to another person, or they life on different locations, or they hate each other (only a thin line divides love & hate), and if they decide to become a couple, they are very difficult to live with. We all have enough with your own personal chaos and unsolved problems, and don´t need to multiply them by two.

But between twin flames there is a direct and strong bond, so strong that you can´t let go the connection even if you never become a couple. You can feel what the other one is feeling when they are apart. You can feel them spiritually close to you, even when there is negativity and distance, and that’s why this can be so beautifull as troumatic.

A soul mate is the perfect match. It is someone that will satisfy all your desires, meet all your expectations and fulfill all your dreams.

With a soul mate you will experience the end of loneliness and will have complete compatibility in all your being levels

With a soul mate you don´t need to talk to understand each other, and if you talk you can experience conflic-free conversations

Your soul mate will share with you your interests, hobbies and passion

A life with a soul mate can be like a hand clinching romantic walk by the beach

All these sound so good that I wish they where all true, but they aren’t!

The only point that you can expect to achieve with your soul mate is the end of loneliness, but all the others are just absolutely impossible to live with no one!


A more precise definition of a soul mate is that is a complement to oneself that goes beyond the physical attraction; it has the capacity to help each others development, at the physical, mental, and spiritual levels.

You soul mate is someone who has contracted with you – AT THE SOUL LEVEL- to help you to be the best spiritual person you can be.

A soul mate can be a member of your family or a friend. And it may stay with you for a short period, to help you learn or experience something that you need to experience, of for the rest of your life. That depends on the lessons and the bond.

The soul’s group from where your soul mates come, is made of those with whom you have shared past lives with before, souls with whom you have karmic debts and karmic bonds, and not all these relationships are meant to be smooth, because we have things to learn. So some of the most difficult people in your life are probably members of your soul group.


Finding a soul mate is not something that you can decide, it’s something that happens to you decided by God, but you can decide to be happy in your marriage being a soul mate.

Throughout the Bible, God tells us how to have a great marriage, and he tells husbands to love their wives, and wives to respect their husbands. These are both intentional choices and not a matter of luck.

Our loving God wants us to experience deep, loving and soul – touching relationships in marriage, and that kind of connection is only achieved through committed effort.

Along your life with your couple you will disagree, argue, get frustrated and fight, even if you love each other. And if this happens it’s great, because it means that no one is nullifying the other.

Even if you find your loved one, you can’t be compatible in every way. But to have a good marriage you need to work to fan the flame of love or the spark would die.

Each relationship that you have, be it good or bad, it helps your soul’s progression and growth. And the bad and difficult ones, are only the steps where you have to go through to find the good ones.

If you have gone through several “bad” relationships don´t fall into the pattern of blame and pain, rather try to evaluate what you have learnt from them. And if you have already reached a happy relationship, thanks God, cherish and don’t underestimate this achievement.

Remember that before finding your soul mate, you must find yourself, you must be aware of your higher purpose and begin to live it. Then you will start a vibration al broadcasting that will send out a beacon that will help you find and be found by your soul mate.

If you haven´t attracted yet a twin soul mate, start visualizing what you want. Think how will that person be. How will you feel with it, what you will do when you find each other. Start living in your mind what you would like to live in your daily life, and if you do it properly it will happen. If you need help to do it, you can use my CD: Pareja Ya! that’s a CD created to help you attract your soul mate

Your life is the product of your mind, whatever you focus your attention on you will become, so start becoming all that you desire your soul mate to be.

We all desire to have a partner who loves understands and support us, but in order to find it, you must first establish a certain level of awareness with your own soul.

Written by Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

You will find all that you need to know about, self help, stress control, weight control, stop smoking, mind control, relax, motivation and meditation with subliminal messages at Dr. Bonomi’s web site:

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